What He Couldn't Do
by XNobodyXSomebodyX
Summary: "You know, I couldn't do what you two do. Staying apart and doing your own thing, even though you two love each other. You never know when someone might disappear from your life. Take it from me, you have to make every moment count." Noel/Hope Drabbles
1. Yaschas Massif 010 AF

_**I like drabbles. They don't require commitment. I don't like commitment, so I like drabbles.**_

_**Anyways, this is Noel/Hope, just a bunch of drabbles that I had written up months ago and never got around to posting. I'm not sure why, I was just lazy I guess. But now you guys are going to get spammed with, like, half a dozen chapters of this. Yep.**_

_**And I am actually really disappointed, I had wanted to use that new image cover thing for the first time but I'm too scared to use any actual pictures of Noel and Hope together. I know of so many really cute ones I love, but I don't want to steal them from the artists that drew them...**_

_**Oh, and for anyone wondering about the M-rating, it's mostly there because I don't know if this will stay tame or what so I'm covering all bases. Well, anyways, here ya go.**_

* * *

"_You know, I couldn't do what you two do. Staying apart and doing your own thing, even though you two love each other._

_You never know when someone might disappear from your life. Take it from me, you have to make every moment count."_

* * *

**Yaschas Massif 010 AF**

* * *

Noel had told Serah that he couldn't imagine going separate ways from someone he loved, knowing full well the dangers they would be facing, leaving their fate all up to faith and chance… He couldn't imagine it… In fact, he wouldn't even dream of it in the first place.

It was not something he was capable of: letting someone he cared about run off into a dangerous situation and doing nothing about it—or worse—leaving them behind in danger so that he could complete a different objective. No, he would be more likely to let a paradox thrive somewhere in the timeline before doing that…

Yet again and again, this time traveling business made him and Serah both leave behind people they cared about, or they abandon them, so that they could change the future—past—_whatever_… And each time he found himself having to justify the abandonment. The worst of them all was leaving behind Hope and Alyssa. Again, and again, and again, over and over he would leap through the Historia Crux not knowing whether or not, when he finally came back, if they would still be there. So much could go wrong, and worst of all what could go wrong could corrupt the memories he would try to hold dear of the people he was cared for…

Another paradox arising, him and Serah changing the timeline enough to change them, monsters getting to them, a research project going array, the nightmares went on. That was exactly what he would call them: nightmares. He would dream of catastrophes causing Hope to forget them completely, or the timeline being completely changed and he never having met them, or another paradox arising and causing his death, or his curiosity finally getting the better of him and leading him to his own demise. Night, day, conscious or unconscious, he would dream of these horrible possibilities and feel the ache in himself to return to the director, check if he were alright and subsequently Alyssa as well…

But he never gave in to the ache, because each time he did resulted in his and Serah's eventual departure. Another goodbye, another justification for leaving, another nightmare, another ache… It was a cycle that he was sure would kill him. That was if Caius didn't kill him first, or a paradox, or a random monster, or even Mog… He knew that moogle was plotting his downfall, it always preferred Serah's company over his, and their relationship definitely didn't improve when he was designated as the one to toss him around to collects treasures, artefacts and such.

He was digressing though, the point was that he wasn't like Serah and Snow. He couldn't just leave behind the people he cared about and run off on some adventure, leaving their lives in the hands of fate. Even if Hope was absolutely brilliant, even if he was still a mighty capable ravager and medic on the battlefield, even if he was always surrounded by guards and steel walls and all the latest weaponry… He would feel the ache in the center of his being and know that no matter how he tried to justify leaving him behind each time, he cared too much to not go running back every second he got.

By the time he figured out what that ache really meant, he had already been making trips to Hope in the Bresha Ruins regularly. He didn't know it at the time, as it was still fairly early in his and Serah's entire journey, but this was not just one Hope that he would be visiting so often. One very, very confused Hope, who despite not understanding why Noel found it necessary to visit so often, took advantage of each and every visit, drilling the time traveler with so many questions that Noel had difficulty not giving too much away.

He told him everything he knew about Lightning, Valhalla, the artefacts and gates, and even much of what little he understood himself about the Historia Crux… that much information he knew he could trust to the young director. But when the questions began to touch upon more personal ground—where he was from, what life was like in his time, what became of humanity, his own family, his own history—there was so much he feared to tell the man. Even if the director had good intentions, even if he was brilliant enough to know for himself the repercussions, he could not risk telling him too much and having the young director attempting to change the future… It wasn't a lack of trust so much as a fear of the other's good-nature.

Noel could see it in his eyes… the way they gleamed with a passionate but focused nature. He wanted nothing more than to tell him everything and watch the excitement come over his features as he realized so much of what he had been spending years on attempting to discover. At the same time, he would be lying if he said he didn't find it to be endearing the way the supposedly "mature" director would sulk slightly when he was denied the knowledge. Oh, sure, he put on the air of the genius and mature director in front of Serah and Alyssa, but the moment it was just the guys the director seemed to become an over-eager child with a present…

It was a memory that Noel would hold on to quite fondly.

* * *

_When Hope realized the time traveler would continue his many visits, he took it as the opportunity it was: a chance to learn what little he may be able to about the future, or at least the future that they were attempting to change._

_He was thrilled to learn more about the entire process of time travel, of what little Noel himself knew of Lightning and Valhalla, but when it came down to the hunter himself… Hope was always left more than slightly disappointed. He understood Noel's apprehension, really he did. He knew that even a tiny slip up could cause a person to gain knowledge that they should never have had, and cause them to use that knowledge to twist the timeline in a way that it should never have went. At the same time, despite knowing the possible consequences, he couldn't resist the chance of gaining the knowledge anyways._

_Hope was the damn director! He had a right, a privilege, a duty to gain as much knowledge as possible. However, it seemed Noel would not slip up, he was more than careful, always hesitating before answering a question, usually only giving vague nods and smirks instead of real truth. It was frustrating to say the least, and at the same time it was all the more thrilling. Sitting with the man during his very frequent visits, chatting so easily, studying him like a puzzle or riddle, so sure that eventually one day he would have the formula that would unravel the secrets and give him the answers he so desperately desired…_

_Well, he got one thing that he desired, and in the long run, he supposed it was the one thing that mattered most anyways._


	2. Yaschas Massif 01X AF

**Yaschas Massif 01X AF**

* * *

Another Hope… At first he had been ecstatic to see him, despite this Hope not remembering them or the paradox that caused the eclipse, he was ecstatic that Hope had still been drawn there and waiting for them. Then he just felt even more anxious each time they were forced to leave. To change the future, the one where he was from, the one where he became the last hope for humanity… It made him feel a little sick with himself that he just wanted to stay there with Hope, get reacquainted with another version of the boy that didn't remember him.

Unfortunately, it was like with the first Hope. Again and again they would leave, again and again he would feel that ache and fear for the man's safety… The only difference this time around was how concerned Alyssa also seemed to be about the future, the girl attaching herself to either him or the director each time he came around. It wasn't that he disliked the girl… but she was a little too clingy for his tastes.

It was like reliving a memory each time he talked to Hope, they had so many exact same conversations, Noel sometimes laughing in the middle of them from how predictable Hope had become for him, which of course just made the other man annoyed when the hunter would spend more time laughing at him and less answering the questions he was asking. What he hadn't predicted from the man, however, was the raw determination he had to change the future…

To save Lightning, Fang and Vanille, and his mother. Noel finally managed to drag the story out of the young man during one visit, nightfall having already descended over the camp, the two of them were the only two left out. They had sat comfortably around the Oracle Drive, Noel watching the faint green glow of it reflect off the man's pale skin. He looked nearly translucent himself.

"_Nora…"_

Her name instantly reminded him of the team back in New Bodhum, but as Hope continued the story of her death, he quickly drew the conclusion that she likely had nothing to do with the team's name. By the end of the story, he watched as the boys eyes dimmed and reflected the light of the Oracle Drive, their green seeming so much more intense because of it, and for a while the hunter was actually a little short on words. He knew how the other man was feeling, how it was to lose someone so very close to you so very suddenly, he knew that pain too well and too often. But he couldn't support the boy's attempt to save his mother, or Fang and Vanille… these people were essential to be kept where they were in the timeline, or else they could rewrite all of history…

"If she saw you now… I don't think she would want you to be spending time looking for her anymore."

The director's eyes snapped over to him, thin, pale eyebrows furrowing together in surprise, his mouth turning down in a frown immediately, "If you're going to tell me to move on, I've heard it from plenty of people already."

"Then those people don't really get it, now do they?" He sighed heavily, leaning back in the seat and crossing his arms, "You don't really ever move on from losing them. It stays with you for the rest of your life, you just have to live around it. Remember the good parts, and do what you can to keep the others you love around."

Green eyes seemed to waver slightly as they watched the hunter, nodding in almost an absentminded fashion, the quickly progressing thoughts working through the other man's head was almost visible to Noel. But he had already said everything he had to say, there was nothing else he felt he could do to progress their conversation any farther. For a moment, he was almost afraid that Hope would take offense to his words, would stand and walk away angrily and say that he didn't want to have these routine conversations anymore…

Then the eyes slowly turned back to the Oracle Drive, and the charged atmosphere dropped.

"So many that I care about have already gone… Lightning, Snow, Sazh and Dajh, Fang and Vanille, I have no idea how to protect them or even help them. But… you and Serah, I might not be able to go everywhere with you, but I can do everything possible to make sure that you guys are safe."

If anyone asked Noel what that weird almost suffocating surge of pressure he got in his chest was when Hope had included him in that list, he wouldn't be able to really answer them. At least, not for another couple of visits. But with each look into those green eyes, and with each ache he felt when away, he came to understand more and more.

"We'll change the future. Protect Cocoon. And we all will be together again when it's over."

* * *

_Despite being older than the brunette hunter, Hope often felt the more childish of the two, not through any actions of Noel's or even his own, it was just something he felt every time the other man was around. Hope had respect, he was the Director of the Academy, he had power, smarts, money, there was so much that should have made him feel confident in his position compared with the hunter…_

_But then he would make eye contact with the other man and would see it all spelled out in those honest blue eyes. He hasn't seen anything in comparison to Noel. Noel came from the end of days, the end of humanity, where the world had just become a wasteland consumed by monsters and grief. And it didn't matter what Hope had seen in his time, experienced, learned, or built now, in the future, in the past, or even in his time as a l'Cie… There was an entire lifetime of age in those eyes, and he doubted he would ever really understand just what or how much Noel had seen._

_Often, when they were alone, he would find himself trapped by those eyes. Soft chocolate brown hair would gently be swept along by the wind, and through the strands he would become caught by those clear sky blue eyes. But when they were with the others, often Serah and Alyssa, he would make sure to keep a distance, to not look him in the face, and yet without even looking at them he could feel the heavy stare on him._

_Was it his imagination? All in his head that he was feeling Noel gaze on him? He reasoned that it was because he was talking. The Director of the Academy was talking about changing the future, changing his future, of course he would pay attention to him. Somehow, though, he got the feeling that the title "Director" held little meaning to someone like Noel, he probably just figured it another word for smart. Still, despite that, he wanted to be someone who could compare to the hunter, he wanted to be able to look the other in the eye and understand what that age and exhaustion he saw there meant._

_He wanted to be someone that the hunter would stare at._


	3. Augusta Tower 200 AF

_**So to clarify for anyone who is confused by it already, and will probably be even more confused by it by the end of this chapter, the italicized parts at the end are Hope. But they are different Hopes, so like the Hope that is speaking at the end of this one is the Hope from this time and it is a different Hope from the Hope that spoke in the last chapter.**_

_**That probably made less sense. Whatever, I give up. Enjoy it anyways?**_

* * *

**Augusta Tower 200 AF**

* * *

Hope died.

It sounded like a really bad pun. But this wasn't a pun. Hope Estheim, Director of the Academy, died. He was assassinated by his own creations. Noel watched the scene with no breath in his throat and a still heartbeat. At first he denied it was possible, that it was just something the machines had been trying to convince them of, to demotivate them, slow them down, or make them to submit. He just refused to believe that it was possible that someone as brilliant as Hope would actually be overpowered by his own creations, that anyone would want to betray him, murder him…

Then he felt anger, he wanted those traitors, those murderers, those ungrateful pieces of shit dead. And more or less, that's exactly what he and Serah did, they killed so many damned machines in that tower that Noel could swear that he could still feel electricity shocking and burning his skin to this day. They destroyed the machines, pushed aside any AI that dared to get in their way, and they confronted the damn fal'Cie that was responsible for everything.

At one point they had to take a break, the tower was large, circular floors and shifting passageways causing him to lose his sense of direction, and with the way he was prowling around looking for a fight was exhausting Serah. She was also upset over Hope's death, but she had not immediately turned into a giant ball of rage when she had finally accepted it, she just refused to allow it to happen instead. But Noel… It was like he was out for revenge. She finally forced him to slow down and rest for a little while, grabbing something for them to eat out of their packs as they rested, but Noel just continued to pace their makeshift resting area.

A single room that they had turned to face the two doorways away from the walkways, to make sure that there wouldn't be any monsters ambushing them while they rested. Noel still didn't seem to rest though, pacing the length of the transparent walls, eyes sharp for any sign or movement around them. The only thing that could be seen were the monitors in other rooms switching on or off though. It was like even the tower was getting a little tired.

The anger that spurred him on through that entire tower eventually dwindled into despair and sadness. It tore him apart to think that this was the future for the man, for Hope, for his friend. It just wasn't right, to think that someone so brilliant, so sweet, so amazing, and with so much potential, that someone would betray him, kill him. He just couldn't understand why, if it was any other person with anywhere near as much fame as Hope, Noel would just write it off as everyone making an enemy or two to get to where they were. Hope wasn't like that though, he didn't make enemies like that, he was Hope, he was hope.

Eventually they moved on, despite Serah protesting that they should rest longer, if for no other reason than to calm down and for Noel to regain his head. But Noel didn't want to waste any more time getting to the Proto fal'Cie, he wasn't going to let that thing get away after killing Hope. When they did finally find the Proto fal'Cie, his heart dropped when they realized they couldn't kill it. It controlled time, it just kept rebuilding itself, there was no end. An endless cycle, the chicken and egg paradox. When there is no beginning, how could they create an end? When Serah finally snapped and started screaming at Hope, Noel had felt sure that it was all over. Even Serah had lost it, there was no way to come back from this, this would be the future for Hope, the end of his friend, and the end of his and Serah's journey.

Then Proto fal'Cie Adam disappeared, and for one desperate moment, Noel could have sworn that he nearly cried in relief. No fal'Cie meant that Hope would live, he would survive. Collapsing to his knees, he breathed deeply in both exhaustion and relief, slowly bringing a hand up to his chest to feel the racing of his heart, and the familiar ache that was almost unbearable by this point. He had to be sure, he had to go back in time, see Hope again, and make sure that the man never even thinks of making a Proto fal'Cie, or AI's, or anything even close to that sort of stuff. He had to be sure that he was alive and well and safe and happy…

Serah seemed to understand immediately when he said that he wanted to leave and see Hope, making the man feel a little uneasy as they both began to head back to the time gate, wondering just what it was that she seemed to be understanding in the first place, and why it made him feel so nervous… Either way, it didn't matter. The moment they activated the time gate it brought them to another future, without giving them the option to go back to the past first.

* * *

_He had never meant for everything to go so wrong…_

_He had tried so hard to make a future that would keep everyone safe. He just wanted everyone to be safe. For Fang and Vanille to not have to hold the weight of Cocoon on their shoulders, for Lightning to be able to come home, for Snow to come back, and most importantly, for Noel and Serah to return to them and not risk their lives jumping all over the timeline._

_He had thought he had been on the right track, after years of hard work and determination, experiment after experiment and Etro knows how much data…_

_He should have seen it from the beginning through, especially because of his experience as a former l'Cie…_

_The fal'Cie would never be their saviors, only their antagonists._

_Hope held himself responsible for the deaths that the future of his man-made fal-Cie would cause. In his final moments he felt the guilt and sorrow weigh down on him terribly, but more than anything he had felt regret. Regret that he made the AI's, regret that he set in motion this future for the human race, regret that he created the Proto fal'Cie Adam…_

_And more than anything else, he felt regret that he had been unable to see Noel at least once more since his last visit 3 years ago… There was so much that he still wanted to know about the time traveling hunter, so much that he still wanted to say to the man…_

_For a brief moment, Hope in another future, another reality, felt a twinge of pain rush through his heart. A brief longing blooming after it, making his body suddenly feel heavy with lethargy… He took a glance over to the time gate, waiting with Alyssa at his side for the time traveling friends that risked their lives for their future, and his thoughts drifted to the hunter that would be in his sight at any moment now…_

_For the first time, he felt a painful ache take him over at the thought of the other man always being so far away…_


	4. Academia 4XX AF

_**This is one of my favorites.**_

* * *

**Academia 4XX AF**

* * *

Hope was alive, Serah had really managed to change the future just by screaming at it… In a way, he could very clearly see how Lightning and Serah were related. For a while there he really thought one of them was adopted or something.

He suddenly felt an unrelenting calm overtake him as he watched Hope smile up at the suspicious Mog inspecting him, reaching a gentle hand out as if to pet the creature. Mog evaded him, instead spinning over Alyssa and then zipping back to Serah, seeming satisfied with the presence of their friends in the future. At first, Noel couldn't really care less that Hope and Alyssa were in a part of the timeline that they were not supposed to be anywhere near, but in defense of the time guardian title he claimed to have, he had just been happy to see them surviving the timeline to begin with.

When they finally reached the Academy, after a torturously long detour through the confusing passages of the city and horribly monotonous quizzes at those stupid "Brain Blast!" terminals before being ambushed by some creepy guy that Serah seemed to know named "Captain Cryptic," they finally reached Hope once more. Hearing the other man's side of the story, he felt all fear for the timeline and any paradox that may occur from their presence set aside, as it seemed that their time capsules were less a way of time travel and more a way to put a person in storage for a later date… like meat.

Later, when it was just him and Hope, and Noel explained his understanding of their messing with the timeline and any possible paradoxes, Hope had just laughed at him. Chuckling at him, he shook his head in a way that made Noel also smile a bit, a small quirk in his lips that pulled up from watching the Director laugh over his invention being compared to how the hunter would preserve dinner.

The Academy of the future seemed to revere Hope as being something close to a demi-God of a sort, what with the way they did whatever bidding he demanded. When Noel had asked what perks came with the job title of Director, Hope showed him his living space at the very top of one of the pillars in the giant building, making Noel gape slightly at not just the luxurious apartment sized area that Hope had to himself, but also the magnificent view outside the windows.

"And they just gave this to you?"

Hope ran his fingers through his hair slightly, smiling a little bashfully as he walked towards the couch, "Well, I didn't have much say in the matter. I was asleep for nearly 400 years, they decided on their own that it would be healthier for Alyssa and I to stay in an environment where we could be monitored for any complications that could develop from our stay in the time capsule…" Noel drifted off for a slight bit of time as Hope prattled on about the reasoning behind the Academy having him live there. He was still a little stuck at the part where Alyssa was apparently also staying there, at the Academy…

"So… Alyssa lives here too?" He hadn't meant the bitter tone that had accidentally slipped into his words, he also didn't mean to feel so bothered by the idea of the girl living in the same place as Hope. It wasn't completely unexpected after all, she practically hung off the Director, and she even went almost 400 years into the future with him… If anything, she would be the one he would expect Hope to be close to. Still, he didn't like the idea of her living with the other man.

Hope seemed completely unbothered by both his tone and his question though, chuckling lightly, "No, no, they gave her a place to stay in the other tower, top floor like this. She's like my second-in-command and had used the time capsule too, so she needs to be monitored like me."

The amount of relief Noel had felt when he heard she wasn't living with the other man was just plain ridiculous. Really, of all things to worry about he worries about whether his friend is living with a woman or not. Why was he so worried in the first place? Glancing over his shoulder to the platinum haired man on the couch, he wondered for a moment why everything lately seemed to be so wrapped up in Hope in his head. What was it about this man that distorted his mind? Sighing quietly, he turned around and began walking towards the couch to sit beside his friend.

And just like that, they instantly began to settle into their same old routine once more. Talking about the future and the past, about everything that had happened to them, that will happen to them, and in Hope's case, what should have happened to him before Noel intervened. It was a familiar conversation in an unfamiliar environment, and as the sun began to set and Noel watched the warm colors fill the pale complexion beside him, he couldn't help but feel something was not at all right with the entire situation. It wasn't that they were nearly 400 years into the future since they last met, and it wasn't this overly-luxurious apartment that they were sitting in with each other, but rather…

"Is anyone in the Research Facility right now?" Noel began standing as Hope just looked up at him in confusion.

"Uh, not right now, after 5 most of them move to their offices to write reports on their findings for the day," Seeing the hunter move towards the door back into the hall, the Director also finally stood and began following after him, wondering just what it was the other man was planning to do in the Research Facility at this time. Meeting him in the elevator before the hunter could figure out how to make it work, he just shrugged it off because he would find out in a moment anyways.

Reaching said facility, he watched Noel run off to the side for something, leaving Hope to walk up to his small platform that stood precariously before the holographic image of Cocoon. Hearing a soft clanging behind him, he turned slowly to see Noel rolling a couple chairs from the terminals up the stairs down to sit just before Hope's platform, facing them to face the glowing green Cocoon. Grinning, he walked back towards the hunter who was already taking a seat and waiting for him, Hope just shook his head at the other man's antics, "So you would rather watch a glowing green image of Cocoon than a sun setting over Academia? And here I thought a hunter who grew up on Pulse would have a better appreciation of nature."

Noel just snorted at him, nodding to the seat beside him, watching in satisfaction as Hope finally settled down next to him, "I've seen plenty of sunsets, and sun rises, and an eclipse even. My appreciation has been filled for those things," Glancing to his side, his grin unconsciously grew softer as he watched the soft green light bathe the pale form beside him, making those already intensely green eyes glow even brighter. It was just like back in Yaschas Massif.

It was a moment that he knew would never be wiped from his memory, not like so many others that had already left him, he would always remember the way Hope looked here being bathed in the artificial light of the holographic Cocoon. He could forget everything that happened before and after, but he was sure that he wouldn't forget this scene.

* * *

_It felt like something was squirming in his stomach, making him feel more nervous than he should from just sitting beside a friend. His thoughts were still partially curious with that strange ache he had felt before seeing Noel and Serah again, but it was temporarily forgotten as the two sat beside one another. Just like 400 years ago, back in Yaschas Massif, he was once again asking Noel as many questions as he could. For the couple years that he and Alyssa spent building the time capsules not a day went by that Hope didn't feel regretful that he hadn't learned more about the hunter before they left. Sure, he had a secret hope that at any moment they would reappear, back for another visit that Serah had told him Noel always insisted on…_

_Obviously, those visits had stopped very suddenly, and while Hope was worried for the two, he also had the feeling that it wouldn't be the last they would see of them. When he saw the prophecy recorded on the Oracle Drive, he was beyond excited at the idea of seeing them again, and in the future. He had started keeping mental track of all the questions he still had for Noel, for the time he came from, for how he lived then and the people he knew, about the Farseers, and about the Seeress Yeul._

_And yet, here he was, with his opportunity to ask any and all of these questions… and he forgot nearly all of them the moment his eyes landed on the familiar figure of the hunter. Instead, he sat there, enraptured by a tale of the hunter managing to have once taken down a full-grown adult Feral Behemoth all by himself. He felt like their time together was so short, that he would never be able to ask all of the questions he really wanted to anyways, and that ultimately all he would be able to do is just sit there and listen as much as possible._

_He wanted to know so much more now though; he wanted to know everything he could find out, everything he could know about Noel._

_The night would eventually end though, and he and Serah would have to go through another gate… and who knows when Hope would get to see them again. Then he felt that same ache from before blossom from his chest, realizing that he was feeling from the thought of Noel leaving again._

_Everyone was always leaving him in the end._


	5. Serendipity

_**This one has more Hope in it, some traveling shenanigans with Noel and Serah, then just a bunch of Hope.**_

* * *

**Serendipity**

* * *

After staying the night in Academia, Serah with Alyssa in her apartment and Noel with Hope in the Research Facility (they ended up talking all night instead of sleeping by mistake), they headed out in the morning with a new objective in mind. They needed to gather Graviton Cores and find a Chaos Crystal for a special weapon, and while the first they had no idea where to start, Serah distinctly remembered seeing a Chaos Crystal as a prize in Serendipity.

Noel remembered the place vaguely from their first visit, having been gifted from a strangely dressed chocobo lady named "Mystic." He also remembered seeing many wasted hours at the slot machines and much confusion and concern over this drug called a chocoboost or chocobull being used on the birds to race them, it definitely didn't seem healthy. As the two stood in the chocobo races entrance hall and tried to figure out a way to make the 10,000 coins needed to buy the crystal… They realized they were hopeless.

Winning it? They had one chocobo, a silver one whose crystal Mog had found in Academia 4XX AF, and were currently using it as their very much needed sentinel. And while Serah was sure it would be worth the risk to attempt training it a bit for a few races, just until they earned the coin needed, Noel didn't think it would be wise to attempt to train it for anything other than battle. The last thing they needed was for Nuggets, the name he fondly chose for the bird, to attempt racing Caius in Valhalla instead of guarding against the brunt of his attacks.

When that had been eliminated as an option, Serah instead suggested the slot machines. Noel called it a waste of time and money though, it was all based on luck, and apparently the machine's mood… Whatever that meant, he hadn't thought that machines had emotions… And so this left them with only one last option: using money to buy coins to buy the crystal. When they went to the counter though, they realized that despite what they had thought was a small fortune (just around 50,000 gil) only equaled 5,000 coins, half of what they needed.

Their next plan was something that was more from Noel's frustration and less from Serah… not that she was completely free from blame, she was the one who distracted the freaky chocobo lady at the counter long enough for Noel to grab the crystal and run…

Either way, when they outran the various chocobo and cat women and a few men in suits to the time gate, Noel was just happy that they would be arriving in Academia once more to give Hope the crystal.

* * *

_When the time travelers returned to Academia, Hope was excited to see the Chaos Crystal within their grasp. He was a little suspicious as to how they acquired said crystal when they dodged his and Alyssa's questioning, but decided no matter what they had done to get their hands on the crystal, it would be worth it. He would make sure of it._

_Immediately, he began work on creating the Odinblade, forgetting to ask first which type of weapon they would have preferred him to create. As they decided to take a longer rest in the city anyways, he wasn't as concerned with it, belatedly asking them if they would have preferred a bow for Serah, but the girl just waved it off, saying she had bought a very good bow from Chocolina. Hope tried not to make it so obvious how relieved he was at her saying that, but Serah just giggled at him and walked off._

_In one way, he understood what she was getting at. That she had figured out already that he would be making a weapon for the hunter, a reliable one that Noel would be able to put all his trust in, he wanted to make the blade that Noel would use to change the future. And he wanted to be the one to make it so that he could be sure that it was reliable. He wanted reassurance that Noel would have the most powerful weapon he could have before he headed out to battle against… Well, Hope still wasn't entirely sure who exactly they would be fighting, probably Caius mostly, and a heck of a lot of monsters, but he knew Noel would need the best blade he would be able to get his hands on._

_What really had started to bother him in the few days he spent working on the blade was how she knew that he would first think to make it for Noel, and more importantly, why was it he thought to make the blade for Noel and not the bow for Serah? Why hadn't he even thought to make a weapon for Serah? Why had he wanted so badly to make an amazing weapon for Noel? He had been so excited just to see the other man again, to see him safe and returning, he had been so worried about what could happen to him while he was gone, if he would ever return…_

_Abruptly, his fingers stilled over the blade before him, hovering just over the precious crystal he was preparing to infuse into the weapon. Watching him closely, not even a full foot away, the hunter blinked in surprise and turned to look at the Director with confusion._

"_Hope?"_

_Said man felt like he couldn't breathe for the longest time, his eyes wide and the tips of his fingers trembling. It couldn't be that… That he had some kind of feeling for the hunter, he was a guy after all… Then again, in this time period, from what he had seen of the openly gay couples around the city, that wasn't exactly as rare a thing in society now. But still… Was he like that? Did he have feelings for Noel?_

_Another long moment passed as Noel gently placed a hand on his shoulder, making the man tense under the touch, more concern rising in the brunette man for him. Quickly, coming back to reality and out of his own worries and his own head, he returned to the very much more important weapon in front of him. After all, it wouldn't matter whether or not he had feelings for the other man if said man died from a faulty blade._

_Still, that night, after he finally gave the finished blade to Noel and watched his practice swings with it, and said goodnight to the man to sort through his own chaotic thoughts… He wondered again…_

_Did he really have feelings for this man?_


	6. New Bodhum 003 AF

_**I'm starting to think that these titles I'm choosing for these (just naming them after the locations they take place in) is going to come back to bite me in the ass. What if I run out of locations? Or at least relevant locations? I could always pull a Final Fantasy... Academia 4XX-5-2?**_

_**Well, anyways, yeah, I still have more of these so this still isn't the end.**_

* * *

**New Bodhum 003 AF**

* * *

With the data gathered by Hope and the other researchers, they tracked down the first of the seven Graviton Cores. Thankfully, they only needed five of the seven, which Noel was fully planning to only accomplish the bare minimum with this task, as not only was time very literally of the essence at the moment, but he was admittedly quite excited with the idea of bringing them back to Hope. The man seemed so… well, hopeful with this idea of a new Cocoon, and he was looking forward to seeing his reaction when he finally got the very last piece needed to build his dream.

Unfortunately, it would appear not meant to be.

After Mog revealed the hidden object with his hunt ability, Serah had grabbed Graviton Core Alpha only to discover a hidden secret message from Snow. Now while Noel had disliked the self-proclaimed hero upon meeting him the first time, he had grown to have some respect for the man, if for nothing else but for his force of will to keep the people he cared about safe. So when Serah had become so ecstatic to learn that each of these Graviton Cores would likely hold a message from her dear fiancé… well, he didn't have the heart to only accomplish the bare minimum anymore. They would have to find each and every one of these damn Graviton Cores…

Nearly a full two weeks later, thoroughly exhausted, the two finally found the last one, Graviton Core Zeta, on the beach beside the abandoned school house in Oerba… 400 AF? Well, he couldn't exactly remember which time it was for that place, he found it especially difficult seeing as how they had already visited the place at a few different times, and since there was never anything that was too remarkably different about each it was just frustrating trying to keep track what period in time it was for the perpetually dead town… But he is getting off the point.

Serah eagerly listened to the message from her lost time traveling fiancé, sighing heavily when it was over. Quietly, Noel decided to just let her be for a moment, looking out over the distant shore as he gave her the peace to think. As the moments stretch, and he noticed Mog getting impatient by the shoreline, he wondered if it would be wise to interrupt her peace for a moment, to at least suggest they take shelter in the nearby school house for the night, even though he really just wanted to hurry on to the gate and get back to Academia and Hope. He still got that familiar ache whenever he thought of leaving the man alone, even if it was in a fully populated city without any monsters around, and if they were treating him like a god in the Academy, you never knew what could happen, a random paradox could arise or Caius could show up…

Before he could act on either his thought of staying in the school house or his desire to get back to Hope as soon as possible, she interrupted his thoughts, "You're thinking of him, aren't you?"

Jumping slightly as he was tugged out of his thoughts quite suddenly, he looked over at her curiously, lost on what she had meant by that. For a moment he had not connected "him" to Hope, but then he realized that she must have somehow found it predictable that he was thinking of the Director. Why or how, he didn't really understand, but he just shrugged it all off and crossed his arms stubbornly, slightly embarrassed.

"You know," Serah started, her voice slightly wistful as she spoke and looked out at the horizon, her eyes glazed over in a way that suggested she wasn't seeing the world around them in that moment, but rather a memory, "You told me a while back that you couldn't imagine staying apart from the person you love like Snow and I do… But you do it all the time," He was surprised by her, turning to argue that he would never do something like that, that he wasn't doing that, that he didn't even know what she was talking about, but she ignored him and just continued with what she was attempting to say, "So you have to know that even though you don't want to, even though it hurts a lot to know they are out there and possibly hurt or in danger… That for there to be a future for the both of you, you have to be apart from them now. So you cling to that reason… I keep reminding myself that we will be married soon, that as soon as this is all over and Lightning gives us her blessing again, we'll finally be able to be married…"

Shaking his head slightly, Noel tried to come up with something to say to her in return, some reassurance that she will get what she wanted in the end, that there was no reason to worry… But he didn't even know that himself. And as hard as he tried to shake it from his head, Hope kept returning to his thoughts in the most stubborn way possible, making an uneasy twist turn in his stomach. He realized that he was feeling empathy for the girl, that he knew how she felt, and it was making him sick. There was no denying it from his behavior, it had even been obvious to Serah.

He liked Hope. Etro have mercy, he probably loved the guy by now.

But just like Snow, he was leaving the guy behind to go off on this adventure, again and again…

For a moment he thought he was going to be sick because of himself, but he knew this was something he had to do. This was something that he had to make sure was done, otherwise the entire future was doomed. What else was he supposed to do? He had no other choice. Even if he wanted to just stay with the platinum haired Director all day, every day, and just watch him work or stare into those aquatic green eyes… As long as the timeline was still covered in paradoxes, he would never be able to be with Hope.

Lifting a heavy hand, he let it fall on the girl's shoulder, her eyes slowly turning to look at him, understanding drawing a heavy sigh from each of them.

* * *

_When the two time travelers finally returned with the Graviton Cores, Hope felt the change in them. Something had happened during their search, but whatever it was, it wasn't something physically noticeable. There were no new visible scars on the hunter, and Serah still had managed to keep herself practically immaculately clean despite running around all over the timeline in that short white and pink dress… It had to have been something mentally or emotionally different about the two. Serah somehow seemed a bit more depressed as she talked to Alyssa, and Noel had somehow seemed more… aloof than normal? No, it wasn't exactly that, it wasn't that he was really indifferent, but more like he was just trying to act that way. Like he was denying himself interest._

_It was something he unfortunately had no time to pay more attention to. With the Graviton Cores he could initiate work on integrating them into the new Cocoon, and this was something he literally had been waiting hundreds of years to see. Eagerly working at his terminal, he entered in the new data and began assigning researchers, engineers, and other technicians to new jobs, prioritizing Cocoon's new way of defying gravity immediately. With a glance over his shoulder though, he found himself distracted by the blue eyed gaze resting on his back._

_Once again, those eyes seemed so aged, so knowing… so heavy._

_But this time there seemed to be an extra weight in them, something had changed and it was like someone had dropped all of Cocoon into those two blue eyes._


	7. Academia 4XX-2 AF

_**Eh, whatever, they can have the same name. It's not the name that's important anyways.**_

_**Also, remember at the beginning when I said I put on the M-rating just to be safe? Yeah, I have great foresight.  
**_

* * *

**Academia 4XX AF**

* * *

He didn't want to go anymore. But he had to.

He had to go to Valhalla, stop Caius, rescue Lightning and the goddess and Yeul… But goddess help him, he couldn't even go one moment anymore without thinking of Hope's well-being. Sure, they were in Academia still, but it changed nothing in the way of Noel's worry. He had experienced the loss, the regret, the sadness of losing everyone who was close to him. His family, his village, Yeul… They were all gone, he couldn't risk losing Hope too—especially now that he fully understood how much the other man really meant to him. He didn't care if Hope never returned the feelings, as long as he was alive and well and happy, it was enough for him. He just didn't want to lose another person, he had already seen too much loss.

But this was the future that would be created if he didn't leave again, if he stayed here with Hope he would lose a future with Hope. At the same time, that woke a whole new set of fears that he had never once thought about. If they changed the future, would they eventually create a future without him? Would a different future lead to his inexistence? Would by changing the future so he could have a future with Hope lead to him not having a future at all?

He couldn't let himself have these thoughts, they only made him to want to stay by the Director's side even more. It was a dangerous idea anyways.

He and Serah ended up resting in Academia for a few days anyways as both Hope and Alyssa worked furiously on preparing the new Cocoon to work with the Graviton Cores they had gathered. On one of those evenings, after all the other researchers and scientists went home for the night, Noel found Hope's apartment still empty. Having stayed there for the past few days with the man, he knew that by now the Director would usually have already dragged himself to bed, but seeing him nowhere around he began heading back down to the Research Facility. Finding him standing in the same spot as usual, staring up at the holographic image of Cocoon, Noel stopped to appreciate the sight once more.

Again, he was reminded of the night in Yaschas Massif, back when he had no idea what his feelings were, but adored the way the green light of the Oracle Drive illuminated the pale complexion of his companion beside him anyways. And the much more recent night where they had sat beside each other here, right in front of the same hologram, and he had been so enraptured by the intensity of those shocking green eyes… Now he understood his feelings, and he knew why he loved to stare at the man when he was practically glowing from the way the light bounced off his pale form, and he just grew to appreciate it more…

He didn't know how many more moments he would have like this anyways.

Seeming to finally notice he was no longer alone, Hope's eyes searched the dark facility around him until they landed on Noel, a weary but joyful grin crossing his features when their eyes connected. Softly, exhaustion obvious in his words, Hope sounded like he was ecstatic to be the first one to get to tell Noel the news, "We finally did it, just a few minutes ago I finished the plans for adapting the power from the Graviton Cores into the new Cocoon… We changed the future."

Noel's eyes widened as he felt a very similar grin stretch across his face, quickly walking up the pathway towards the Director, his eyes flashing between those tired green eyes and the hologram of the small world that would be floating in the sky in the future. His eyes wavered, as if wondering themselves if it was a dream, but they locked on to the aquatic green ones that were looking up at his eagerly for his reaction and could only feel the pure excitement racing through him, "Really, it's for sure? It will all be done in time? The future has changed?"

Hope just nodded back at him, platinum strands of hair falling into his eyes slightly from the movement, but the surge of happiness that came over Noel kept him from seeing anything really anymore. He grabbed the man in front of him, crushing him in a hug that made him yelp at the suddenness. Just about to return the hug with an equal amount of enthusiasm, he was instead surprised to feel himself be pushed against the terminal behind him, lips crushed against his own instead.

Because he realized at just that moment, the future he came from would be changed, there was a new Cocoon for people to live on. The future he came from , that dying world he knew as home, it would no longer exist. There would be happiness, there would be people, Yeul would probably live… and at any moment this ripple effect in the timeline could reach him and halt his existence… he could disappear at any moment. So he had to make sure there wouldn't be any regrets.

Pressing the man in his arms against the computer behind him, forcing his lips over the other's, letting every ounce of passion and happiness pour into that kiss, he hadn't really thought of any repercussions of that act. He didn't know if Hope had any sort of feelings for him, he hadn't expected him to, and he had no idea if he really would disappear there and then or 20 years later or what. He just knew that he couldn't waste time. If he disappeared without having ever acted on his feelings, he would regret it.

Of course, had he known that Hope was going to kiss him back with just as much need and want, he would have wasted even less time and done this as soon as he had stepped out of the time gate. An arm snaked it's way around his neck, another grasping his shoulder eagerly as Noel let himself press closer to the other man. Knocking to the sides those long thin legs that had caught his eye more than once, he slipped himself between them to get even closer to the young Director, his breathing becoming heavier as he felt one raise itself and wrap around one of his legs slightly.

Finally breaking the quickly intensifying kiss, he paused only long enough to glance down at the green eyes hazing over with lust before him, and moved to kiss down the man's jaw and neck. Hope held his breath as the lips ran across his skin, biting his lip each time he felt the playful nip of teeth as they teased. For a while he was unsure what to do, clutching at the back of Noel's shirt and letting himself be pressed against the terminal behind him, wondering absentmindedly just how far the hunter was planning to go with this. But Noel was already pulling the Director's tie off, gently unzipping part of the jacket and pulling it apart to reveal the creamy white, untouched skin of the man's collarbone.

Trying not to lick his lips like he was just about to eat dinner, Noel let his lips rush across the skin, loving the little gasps of breathe he would squeeze out of the man each time he nipped a bit harder than gentle, until he thought to put a more permanent mark on the other. Choosing a particularly sensitive area just under the jugular, he bit down and delighted in the way Hope clutched his t-shirt tightly and emitted a small yelp, then kissed it apologetically before fitting his lips on it and roughly sucked on it. He wanted the mark dark, visible, his mark on Hope.

Then if he ever disappeared, there would be proof that he had been there at one time, at the very least. That this happened, that for a while he had Hope.

* * *

_Feeling the beginning of the bruise forming on his neck, Hope tried to push the hunter away, to stop him from leaving something too noticeable, but it was like the man was on a mission. Finally, seeming to notice the struggles of the man in his arms, Noel released his neck from his mouth, looking back into his eyes in confusion._

_Hope found any words of protest gone instantly, his lips moving helplessly lost as he tried to grasp at anything to say now. Nonsense seeming to tumble through his head, he spat out the first thing he could think of, "My room?"_

_He felt heat rush through every vein of his body at the absolutely predator like grin that seemed to come over the hunter before him, wondering if maybe Noel had adopted some characteristics from the very monsters he would hunt in his time. He could only gasp as he felt himself being pulled after the other in a hurry to the elevator, being pushed inside and against another wall roughly as the doors slid closed. He groaned as he suddenly felt hands on him, wandering from his sides towards his legs. He shivered from their touch, one teasingly running over his covered manhood and making him squirm to get it to press against him._

_Growling lowly in his throat from the teasing, he brought his lips back up to the other's and let his own hand wander down. Feeling along a leg through the baggy but soft material of the other man's pants, he eventually reached the prize, beginning to message it through the material. He thrived off the groan he received from the other man, nearly missing the ding of the elevator finally reaching his apartment's level, the doors sliding open and Noel instantly dragging him off the wall and immediately towards the bedroom._

_Finding himself thrown onto his own bed, he turned in time to see Noel pulling his shirt off, leaving tan skin and well-developed muscles for Hope to see. He sank into his bed as the brunette lowered his body over him, Hope once again feeling as if he was staring at a predator as he was loomed over. He shivered when fingers began to quickly work over his jacket, tugging it from his body, he let his lips guide themselves to the other's neck, lavishing it with gentle kisses and nips. His hands rushing over the tan skin in front of him, pressing and worshiping the firm muscles that the hunter had developed. He felt the t-shirt he wore under his jacket being lifted off his skin and gasped as it suddenly was pulled over him, twisting in his arms as they were pulled above his head._

_He groaned as Noel forced him back into the bed, words being whispered into his ear intimately, he nearly didn't understand them, "You just lie back and enjoy it, Director Estheim, leave the work to me."_

_Oh, Hope stifled the moan that threatened to overthrow him in that moment, they were going to play this game? It was going to be a very long night._


	8. Academia 4XX-3 AF

_**So OmniaVanitas had a great idea for me to continue this with the Paradox Ending: the Future is Hope. This is the first part, the second part is next.**_

* * *

**Academia 4XX AF**

* * *

His legs were so tired.

Every step he took away from the Academy felt like an extra weight on his muscles, and while Serah was kind enough to not point it out he could tell that she knew this was hard for him.

The sun was barely rising, morning just striking the city as their steps echoed emptily on the walkway, the place was deserted and it just made an uneasy feeling settle even deeper in the pit of his stomach. He and Serah spent a lot of time with the hunters on the Archylte Steppe, hunting with them and exploring the area for rare items and monster crystals, and so he had become accustomed to seeing people get up at the crack of dawn and start work for the day…

But here no one needed to be up so early, and the empty streets on served as a reminder of his home…

The sick twist in the pit of his stomach tightened, turning to steel. He held his breath for a moment as the thought of Hope popped into his mind once again, but it only served to strengthen his resolve. He couldn't let his future be Hope's future.

He had to leave Hope behind.

"_You know, I couldn't do what you two do. Staying apart and doing your own thing, even though you two love each other._

_You never know when someone might disappear from your life. Take it from me, you have to make every moment count."_

The bitterness of those words came back at him hard, quickly accompanied by the memory of Serah's pained expression while they gathered those Graviton Cores, but he just bit them back. There was no other option, staying here, staying with Hope, it would be their end.

He had to leave, he had to finish this. As he and Serah finally seemed to reach the Time Gate, he released breath he had not realized he was still holding. It was like he was dreaming, his eyes saw Serah taking the artefact from her pouch and holding it up to the gate, but it didn't really click in his mind until the Gate activated.

Where did Serah get that artefact? He had been with Hope the entire time, so she never got it from him…

"Leaving without even a farewell?"

His heart stopped for a moment, turning around sharply to see exactly who was haunting his thoughts coming up behind them. Platinum hair shined brightly in the morning sun, making the man almost blinding to look at for a moment, he took a deep breath as Hope walked up to them slowly. Their eyes met only for a moment, but more was said with just one look than could have been said with any words at that moment.

There was pain… but understanding as well. So they had come to the same conclusion.

Serah was talking, as was Alyssa, and even Hope. He saw them all talking, there were even a couple sad smiles being passed around, but he didn't hear any of the words that were actually being said. All he could see was the expression on Hope's face, the sadness and disappointment, this was the last thing he wanted to see. All he wanted was to reach out and… No, all he wanted was to stay. To not need to leave at all.

If there could be a paradox right now, something to allow him to stay here, anything almost, to just allow him to stay for a little while longer…

"So, I guess this isn't really goodbye then."

Alyssa reached out to shake Serah's hand, the girls smiling sadly at each other, a small shine in the blonde girl's eye making his stomach twist for a moment, but he tried to brush it off. Hope reached out to shake his hand at that moment. Stepping forward, Noel's hand grasped the other man's for just a moment, his fingers wrapping around the other man's hand tightly as Hope's next words reminded him of his resolve.

"For a new future."

It was like he was trying to convince himself of the cause as well, or the reason for this. His eyes, his voice, the way his touch lingered on his hand, and it broke Noel's will to see the other man suffering so much for this. He had already had everyone else leave him behind, Noel did not want to be another person to leave him.

He wanted to be there, every moment, every day, all the time. For Hope.

* * *

_It was bitter. Or actually, he was._

_Always, always, everyone was taken from him. His mother, Lightning, Fang, Vanille... those important to him were always taken from him._

_So he was bitter._

_Waking up without Noel beside him had been nerve wracking, racing to reach them before they went through the gate was terrifying. Seeing him standing in front of the gate… It was like a punch in the stomach. There was nothing for him to do, he knew he had to let him go, he knew that if he didn't than he was dooming the entire human race._

_But he was so tired of this happening again and again…_

_Except Noel was worse. Because he would leave now, and he would come back, and he would leave again, but he would never know if this time would be the last time._

_That was the worst part._


	9. Paradox Ending: the Future is Hope

**__****I wish this Paradox Ending had been continued as an alternate ending for the game, I was pretty interested in how it could have turned out.**

_**EDIT:****I made some changes involving the interaction between Hope and Noel. I felt really uncomfortable with Noel just outright holding Hope like that, I felt like I was making Hope out to be weaker because he was hiding in a way. So the only real change to this is that instead of holding him, they are more or less holding each other's hands, which I felt expressed the support that Noel needed to show in this moment, the distress that Hope was feeling, and also did not make Hope seem 'weaker' and more in character by facing what was going on.**_

_**I also just want to throw in that this change is not due to any criticism (although I'm surprised no one commented on it, I thought it felt rushed...), but rather due to my own feelings on the matter. I feel much more comfortable with the change.**_

_**Thanks again for all the reviews and follows that you guys have given me, they are really appreciated. If you like the story, please favorite, follow, or drop a review, basically just let me know you're enjoying it.**_

* * *

**Paradox Ending: The Future is Hope**

* * *

They began pulling away, taking a step back, he felt all his muscles scream in protest from the action, halting him. He moved forward very suddenly, Hope jumped as he saw the man approach him quickly again, arms wrapping around him tightly, in denial, and it felt like he was going to suffocate not from the pressure of the hug but of the situation.

"DIRECTOR!"

The group all nearly jumped a foot at the shout from back at the Academy, the sounds of boots slamming against the walkways, soldiers sprinting towards them. Noel's stomach dropped as he recognized one man from the crowd, standing at least a head taller than the tallest man among them, Snow was barreling towards them.

"SERAH, DON'T GO!"

Serah had already started sprinting towards the man, she had no intention of turning around now. The two met up in the middle, soldiers rushing past her and continuing towards Noel, Hope and Alyssa. Noel felt a slight panic rise in his chest as they rushed towards him, only to run past and surround Alyssa.

"Freeze, you're under arrest!"

As they pushed her to the ground, pulling her arms behind her back, she screamed at them to let her go. Noel kept his arm in front of Hope, pushing the man back slowly from the scene as Hope seemed to be in shock, his eyes wide as he just watched.

"Give it up, sweet heart, we're on to you," Snow walked towards them finally, his arm around Serah, "Got to you guys just in time."

"What do you mean?" Serah asked, her voice worried as she watched the men continue to aim their guns at Alyssa, "What's going on? What do you want with Alyssa?"

"That artefact she gave you, Serah? It's booby-trapped."

Noel could feel Hope clutching at his arm now, not trying to push it away, not to protect himself, to ground himself. This was happening, Alyssa betrayed him. Noel felt his heart sink, realizing the catastrophic impact this would have on the other man. Gently, he lifted his hand, grasping Hope's and lowering it slightly, taking a step closer to the man, trying to be as reassuring as he could.

Hope didn't need to hide, he would not turn away, he was strong enough to face this and realize the deception he had been fed by someone so close to him. It wasn't easy, but Noel had long since learned that what Hope may have lacked in physical strength, especially since he was no longer a l'Cie, he made up for with knowledge and a certain mental strength that only came from experiencing true loss.

He recognized it, that gloom that would haunt the darkest part of the eye, he could see it in Hope's eyes because he had seen it in his own, in Caius, in Yeul, in Lightning, in Serah… in too many people.

"Someone gave it to you… Someone like Caius?"

Hands squeezed tighter, and all Noel could do was squeeze just as hard back.

"So what if it did?!" Alyssa snapped back at him.

"How did you know, Snow?" Noel asked, the other man looking at him and Hope curiously before smirking slightly, turning serious once more as he glanced at the Time Gate.

"Caius is on the move and up to no good, the past and the future are looking pretty bleak," Turning to Serah again, grabbing her wrist, "Give me a hand, Serah."

Hope suddenly tore away from him, looking up at Snow angrily, "You can't just drop a bomb like that and take off, you always just do what you want, even if it means leaving other people behind. You haven't changed at all!"

"Okay, okay sorry—at least I'm consistent," Snow chuckled at him, Noel frowning as he kept to right behind the other man.

He could see the tension in the young Director's shoulders, but it was not going to snap yet.

With all explanations out in the open, Alyssa was dragged off for questioning, as she had stopped struggling by that point. Hope had watched them take her away, and Noel watched him. It was like watching a plate fall in slow motion, knowing what is coming, but waiting for it to break.

But they couldn't wait. Snow and Serah were already planning to leave, to visit 13 different eras for some kind of crystals.

"What can I do?"

Noel smiled slightly, that was just like Hope. Already hit with all of this, Alyssa's betrayal and them leaving again, and all he wants to know is what he can do to help.

"Just stay alive."

Snow's face was dead serious, and Noel's heart suddenly exploded inside his chest, slamming against his ribs as he continued, "… You're going to be assassinated exactly three days from now."

No, he won't be.

"I'm staying here," the words tumbled out before he had the chance to even think of them, not that it mattered, because that was his exact intention anyways. He would not be leaving while Hope was in danger. The other times… those were different, he was safe, or at least he was not in immediate danger…

He couldn't leave, he would regret it forever if he did. He _needed_ to be here.

"My thoughts exactly," Snow smirked, winking at the hunter, but Noel just scowled at him, "You keep Hope safe, without Hope we're done for."

There was no one who knew this more than Noel.

* * *

_And they left._

_But Noel stayed, and while there was a knot of nerves in his stomach because there would be an attempt on his life in a few days, there was relief in his heart from Noel's presence._

_For now, at least, he still had Noel, and even if it's because someone was going to try and kill him, he was still going to take advantage of the extra time he got with the hunter._


	10. Paradox Ending: Heir to Chaos

_**First off, in case no one else has noticed, I made some small changes to the previous entry "Paradox Ending: the Future is Hope" in which instead of hiding Hope in a hug, Noel and Hope show support through some intense hand holding... I prefer the intense hand holding myself. So if you want to check it out, go ahead and take a look, however, that was the only thing changed about the entry.**_

_**As for this entry... I don't know... I was having a hard time with the idea of extending "The Future is Hope" especially since I really just wanted to keep these drabbles, so I decided to just move on and come back if I really wanted to. That is the purpose of drabbles, is it not?**_

_**So once again, favorite, follow, or drop a review please, all are appreciated since it lets me know that others are still enjoying these.**_

* * *

**Paradox Ending: Heir to Chaos**

* * *

He needed to protect.

It was something that came naturally to him, probably because it was something that he was born to do. Protect, save, to put himself between another and death. It was something he needed to do, and something he was often cursed to fail at.

Yeul.

Caius.

Serah.

Etro.

He failed them, he killed them. Their deaths were not a fault directly from him, he had not intentionally killed them. But he had wanted to protect them, and their deaths were on his hands.

For the longest time he did not know what to do about it, for much too long he just continued to float through time, to reflect on his and everyone's actions. He inherited the Heart of Chaos, he was immortal, and he had no idea what to do.

If he continued down this path, returned to Serah in Valhalla, then he was doomed to watch her die once more. If he tried to return to a time before that, then he would be doomed to kill Caius and Etro once more. And Yeul… If he even attempted to see Yeul, in any time, he would alter time and probably kill her as well. His Yeul had long since died, and the time here, floating aimlessly, sifting through his and Caius' memories, it gave him the time he needed to truly accept that.

But he didn't know where to go from there.

That light continued to glow, it gave him his option, all he needed to do to leave was decide where he needed to be.

Would he face his fate? Continue where he left off? After Serah died?

Or would he run, and try to change what happens, try to alter their fates in unforeseeable ways?

The more time he had to think about it, the more he solidified his decision: any chance he had to save Yeul, Caius, and Serah was a chance he could not pass.

But where? Where did it all go wrong? The beginning was as it should be. As much as he would prefer to leave Serah, leave her where she would have been safe, she was needed for them to get through all of this. She knew what was wrong and what wasn't, she could change time by screaming at it, and without her he would probably never convince Hope to help him…

Hope!

Serah had introduced them, the guy probably would've thought him a wandering lunatic without her word. But more importantly, their time with Hope always involved making decisions that would drastically alter time… But many of those decisions were essential… To inspire the guy to go to the future, to build a new Cocoon… to NOT be killed by his own robots… each visit brought about a change that their presence was essential for.

Except…

Alyssa's fragment maybe… What if he had gone back before then? Refused the fragment? Would that change anything? He didn't know what he and Serah would decide to do then… He also didn't have any reasonable excuse for everyone else to turn away a fragment either, Serah would definitely protest…

If he remembered right… that was also the day after he and Hope…

He felt his heart tighten in his chest, the thought of going back slightly further, of reliving the time with Hope, making his skin prickle with excitement. He stifled it though, it wouldn't be the same. It was a valuable memory that he didn't want to change, even if it meant never being able to make another.

But what he could change… the morning after.

* * *

_It was the first time he woke up to someone else beside him. Not his first time for spending the night with someone, but the first time either he or they had stuck around until morning._

_Waking up with another body wrapped around his, the first thing that occurred to him was that it suited Noel's personality rather well to be clingy in his sleep. Eyes sliding open slowly, he rested his gaze on the figure next to him. A tan face, strong arms, posture relaxed in a way that almost made him vulnerable. Here, he was not a hunter, or a time traveler, or even a fighter, he was just a man, lying down like he had been through hell and back._

_It made him seem thin, weak, destroyed. It made Hope want to protect him._

_He could tell Noel wasn't asleep, his breathing wasn't quite as relaxed as it should have been, not as deep and restful, but he was drifting. He was awake, but it was like he was still dreaming._

_For a moment, he almost thought that he wasn't even really there._

_Something was different. Noel was different, like he was not the same person he was yesterday._

_This Noel was not resting, this one could never truly rest… this Noel was running._


End file.
